He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
