He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
FUCK WHALES
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
