he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
