Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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