This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize