And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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