Having a random hookup so left but love u
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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