with your own penis?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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