im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
