You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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