His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
