She's JV to your varsity
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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