I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
