if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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