can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
