if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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