It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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