do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
