I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
