if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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