i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
