but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
