Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
