his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
