My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
