i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
