So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
