I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
