Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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