Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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