i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
