Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
