ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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