I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
