he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
