Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
