She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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