she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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