he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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