giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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