I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
