Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
