he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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