I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
