He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize