I can tuck mytits in my pants
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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