Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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