I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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