i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
