I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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