I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
