I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
