I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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