Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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