Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
