my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
