One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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