remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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